Funny Things My Kids Say *July 2012 Edition*

Ricky: "Big Kitty is my old man cat."
Emma: "He's not an old man, he's a good cat."


Methinks Emma has played too much "Castle Crashers" when she thinks that we should cut off Olivia's head because she does something Em doesn't like.


*Ricky getting on to the kiddos for their behavior at karate*
Ricky: "Do you understand?"
Olivia: "Yes, sir."
Emma: "Aye, Aye, Captain!"


Ricky just got Olivia to eat Brussels sprouts and like it.


*the movie we are watching starts skipping*
Olivia: "The movie is gurgling!"


Emma: "Mommy, I don't want to wear diapers anymore."
Me: "You don't wear diapers."
Emma: *pauses* "Thanks, Mom."


Emma: "Mommy, I love to speak Spanish."
Me: "You don't know Spanish."
Emma: "Yes, I do. Vamonos, see?!"
Me: "What does that mean?"
Emma: "To come on and go."


*I think the kids are confused by their new classroom rules.*
Olivia: "#1 No pushing. #2 Be a friend. #3...#3...#4...#3 Don't be a friend. #4 Be nice. #5 Don't get a dog."


Olivia: "Mommy, you're respectful, responsible, and a good listener. Daddy, you're not respectful, responsible, or a good listener. You should be in time out."


Every time Olivia plays "teacher", we sense a theme about what she says to her "students". Usually it's something about not paying attention or being distracted. I think Liv may be telling on herself. 


Olivia: *sneeze* "I have a sneeze."
Me: "You have the sneezy sneezes?"
Olivia: "No, just one."


Emma: "These scissors are pointy. You have to be careful. You could cut your finger and you could...you could die!"


Emma: *goes to grab a cookie*
Me: "Emma, no more cookies. It's dinner time."
Emma: "But Daddy just ate one!"
Ricky: *looks at me with a guilty look on his face*
Me: "Tell Daddy, 'No more cookies, it's dinner time."


Emma: "Mommy, if you make us go to school, you will go to jail."
Me: "Actually, if I DON'T make you go to school, Mommy goes to jail. So, get your shoes on."


Emma: Daddy! Come look! I pooped! It's green! And brown!
Ricky: "Okay, I'm coming." 
Emma: "It's green!"
Ricky: "Okay, you done?"
Emma: "No, I've gotta poop five more. It's gonna be carrots."


Emma: "When I poop a lot of green, you're going to look at it and say, 'Wow! That's a lot of green!'"


Emma: "I pooped another green! Daddy, I pooped another green!"
Ricky: "That's great, Emma."
Emma: "Daddy, come look! Olivia, I pooped green! Daddy, Olivia, come look!"