Thursday, March 1, 2012

Other Funny Things *February 2012 Edition*

Ricky: "Here's Superman's strategy. Punch it. If that does work, ask Batman."

Dear Dryer Vent Hose-
I hate you. You are supposed to fit. I double checked the sizes when I bought you and you are supposed to fit. But you don't fit. So I wasted my time tonight when I could have been hanging out with Ricky and editing photos. Tomorrow you will fit or I will make you fit.

Funny Things My Kids Say *February 2012 Edition*

Not sure which one did it or when they did it but one of the twins put the carton of eggs in the door of the refrigerator. And our fridge door is broken so there are no shelf guardrails. Ricky opened the door and down the eggs go. A brand new carton of 18 eggs destroyed in seconds.

Emma: "Who is singing? The Squirrels?"
Me: "Alvin and the Chipmunks."

*Kids keep coming in and stalling bedtime*
Emma: "Excuse me, Dad. Mommy's hair is up."

Before school this morning, Emma picked up a notepad that I was writing ideas for this year's Christmas presents. She started reading parts of it. ♥

Emma: "How 'bout we watch 'Snow White' first and then we watch 'Cinderella'? How 'bout that?"
Olivia: "No."

*Watching 'Cinderella'*
Me: "What's she doing?"
Emma: "Cleaning the floor. I can clean the floor?"
Me: "Sure, go get a rag"
*Emma gets a rag, wets it, and starts cleaning up the finger painting drips on the kitchen floor*

Me: "Okay, what do we need to do now?"
Emma: "Get our clothes on/"
Me: "You have your clothes on. What do we do now?"
Emma: "Get shoes on and eat butter."

Emma: "I love Habby Cat and Old Cat."

Trying a new approach to getting the kids to clean their room. I had them each choose a number: Em 20 & Liv 96. They had to tell me which one was bigger and then the bigger number got to play Reader Rabbit while the smaller number had to clean up one part of their bedroom. Liv is playing RR while Em picks up the books from the floor. The faster she does it, the faster she gets to take over the computer from Liv. Then Liv has to clean up something from the floor and they switch. Let's see how this works out...

PARENTING WIN! Their room is clean. It only took 2 hours. Not bad since last time it took them 4 days.

Ricky and the kids are playing a live-action Angry Birds. They have a stuffed animal 'red chicken' that they are throwing at my mustache pig that Ricky is holding.

Grandmother: "You girls can get Mommy to make you this bacon and french toast. Grandmother and Grandpa can't have it 'cause we're on a diet."
Emma: "We can have it 'cause we're not old."

*shows me her chocolate coin*
Olivia: "I got a gold piece. Fit for a king!"

Olivia: "I'm done. I put all the dolls up."
Me: "No, you didn't. What's that?" *points to stuffed Batman*
Olivia: "That's not a doll!"
Me: "What is it then?"
Olivia: "That's BATMAN!"

Olivia: "See you later Mommy. I'm going to Gotham City to see Batman."

Olivia: "Mommy, I need to talk to the police."
Me: "Why?"
Olivia: "'Cause Emma needs to tell it to the judge!"

The girlies have stripped down to their underwear and are jumping onto the couch saying, "Professionals Only!" before jumping off screaming, "Bonzai!!"

Ricky : "I've got your faces!"
Olivia: "You can't! We're twins!"