Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Other Funny Things *April 2012 Edition*

Ricky: "Why do I have to be the oldest one in the group?"
Me: "I dunno. But you act the youngest?"
Ricky: "You mean 'cause I'm spry and energetic, right?"
Me: "Yeah, sure."

*A character on 'The Walking Dead' cuts himself on a car*
Me: "Well, if the zombies don't get him, he certainly has tetanus now."

Alicia: "You can push her but don't hold the boobies!"

*During an "argument" with Ricky about bedtime routines*
Me: "You're just mad 'cause I didn't get mad about it."
Ricky: "No...Shut up."
Me: *laughing*
Ricky: "You know that was a wasted opportunity to say, 'You mad bro?'"
Me: "No, I don't need to say it."
Ricky: "Shut up..."
Me: "What? You mad bro?"

Funny Things My Kids Say *April 2012 Edition*

Emma: "I wanna listen to the pink poptart with the kitty."
Olivia: "With the rainbow!"

Ricky: "I told Emma to give me her bag and get ready for bed and she ran from me."
Me: "Emma, you need to listen to Daddy."
*Emma doesn't come back*
Me: "Do I need to tell Sifu that you're not listening to Mommy and Daddy?"
*Emma runs back and hands me her bag nicely then calmly walks back to her bedroom*

*After finding one of the 'golden eggs' at the Egg Hunt*
Emma: "I am an egg hunting genius!"

Me: "Look, Emma. It's the Tin Man."
Emma: "He's a can."

Emma: "Dad, let's have a talk."
Ricky: "Okay..."
Emma: "I need these eggs in this basket."

Emma: "When I was a boy, I'll dress up like that."
Ricky: "You're not ever going to be a boy. Unless years down the road that's something you decide to do. In which case that's all your decision..."
Me: "Ricky!"

Olivia requested to wear two different socks today. One lime green Buzz Lightyear and one white Princess Tiana. With pink sneakers. And a light blue shirt. Yep, she's my kid.

Emma has gotten into some make-up. Yes, it looks exactly as you're picturing it.

*watching Futurama*
Olivia: "When I am big I'm gonna wear that."
Me: "The blue dress?"
Olivia: "Yeah."
Me: "You wanna be a waitress?"
Olivia: "Yeah!"

Olivia: "I wanna make cupcakes."
Me: "Okay, after school we can make some cupcakes"
*from the kitchen*
Emma: "...and go to Disney World!"

*after getting herself a drink*
Me: "Emma! Get in here, put the lid on the juice, put the juice in the fridge, put the milk in the fridge and shut the door."
Emma: "Okay, as you wish..."
Me: "Thank you."
Emma: *under her breath* "...master."

*from the bedroom*
Olivia: "Emma, come help me!"
*Emma goes in there*
Emma: "Oh...my...gosh. What have you done??"

Olivia: "Don't punch my sister in the butt. I'll throw dirt on you and make you dirty!"

Me: "Olivia, do you need to go potty?"
Olivia: "No, I'm a Big Red Chicken!"
Me: "Big Red Chicken, do you need to go potty?"
Olivia: "No."

Apparently Emma wants to learn how to play Bridge.

Me: "So, what do you girlies want to get Brian for his birthday?"
Emma: "Jasmine."

*After coming in and seeing all The Nerdery stuff moved over to the Superhero room so we can take the carpet up*
Emma: "Oh no! Daddy's gonna be mad! We NEVER touch Daddy's toys. Now, move Daddy's toys back to his room."
Me:"We will, after we get the floor fixed like that other room."
Emma: "Oh, okay. We still need to move Daddy's toys back."

Emma: "I'm reading the Justice League magazine."
Me: "You mean, comic book."
Emma: "No, it's a magazine."

Olivia just wrote her name with her left hand. And it is just as legible as with her right.

*Listening to the girlies in the bathtub*
Olivia: "Ahhh!! An alligator!!"
Emma: "That's not an alligator, that's just my butt."

Ricky is reading the girlies books in spanish tonight. They are learning their spanish colors.

Abby-Cat slept in Emma's bed last night with her. We didn't realize he got locked in there. Emma was so happy.

Emma: "Daddy, I need an awesome fort. Can I have an awesome fort?"

Me: "Girlies, do you want pizza or hamburgers for lunch?"
Emma & Olivia: "Corndogs."

Ricky: "You girlies want ice cream or oranges?"
Emma and Olivia: "Oranges!"

*driving home from karate*
Emma: "I want to go to the doughnut store."
Me: "Not right now."
Emma: "But it's open!"