Sunday, July 1, 2012

Other Funny Things *June 2012 Edition*

Me: "I would just like to say that I liked Leonardo DiCaprio before you did."
Ricky: "Well, when you liked him, he sucked."

*talking about our 15+ year old cat, Big Kitty*
Me: "We should re-name him Schrödinger."
Ricky: "What? Why?"
Me: "'Cause we joke that we're not sure if he's alive or dead."
Ricky: "I don't get it."
Me: "Did I just out-nerd you?"
Ricky: "I think you did."

Ricky: "I gave Davis a hug today and smelled him."
Me: "You're not the creepy guy at work, are you?"

One of the kids at the cook-out: "What makes the mentos and coke explode?"
Me: "Science!"

Me: "Emma, stop putting things inside the broom."

*talking about Sharon Osborne*
Ricky: "Ugh, she sucks."
Me: "Whatever, I like her."
Ricky: "I love you, but you're wrong."

Ricky: *to kids* "Don't lick me!" *to me* "Stephanie, the kids are being gross!"
Me: "I'm sorry, all I heard you say was, 'The sky is blue.'"

*Bought a new Superhero room comforter at The Goodwill.*
Me: "It'll work until we can get a Batman blanket."
Ricky: "Superman: Good enough until you can get Batman."

Was thisclose to Emeril Lagasse tonight. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I thought it might be a little weird since I had crazy fan-girl face on.

Ricky: "What flavor ice cream do you want?"
Me: *points to vanilla and chocolate*
Ricky: "So, vanilla and brown?"

Funny Things My Kids Said *June 2012 Edition*


*talking to Emma about summer school and kindergarten next year*
Emma: *crying* "We can't split in half. We can't split in half at school! I need my sister!"

*playing in the bathtub*
Emma: "Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me! SMELL MY BUTT!"

*playing legos*
Emma: "Mommy, where's that part?"
Me: "What part?"
Emma: "That part I'm looking for."

Olivia: "Come with me to the snack room"
Me: "You mean the pantry?"
Olivia: "Yeah."

Emma: ""Mommy! You're FIRED!"

Olivia was just putting on a puppet show (complete with separate voice) with her Spongebob bowling pins.

Me: "Time to go brush your teeth."
Olivia: "No, it's raining."

*whining and arguing over their toothpaste*
Me: "Whiners don't get to use umbrellas!"

*the kiddos had a classmate bring in cupcakes with Justin Bieber rings on them*
Me: "Do you know who that is on your ring?"
Olivia: "Daddy?"
Me; "No."
Olivia: "Josh?"
Me: "No. That's Justin Bieber."
Olivia: "Justin Beaver?"
Emma: "Justice Beaver?"
Me: "Yep."

*Emma runs through the hallway and accidentally drops her goldfish snacks*
Emma: "Olivia, pick those up."
Me: "Did Olivia make you drop them?"
Emma: "No."
Me: "Then you pick them up."

*heard from the girlies room*
Ricky: "You've got Big Mickey. You don't need mustard with Big Mickey."

*comes out to tattle*
Olivia: "Mom. Emma said 'Gagoose'."
Me: "So?"
Olivia: "But she's using baby words!"
Me: "Go brush your teeth."

*overheard part of the girlies whining conversation while they brush their teeth*
Olivia: "Nooo, Daddy's a good girl!"

Olivia: "I wanna make you a birthday cake."
Me: "But it's not my birthday."
Olivia: "It's going to be bbq-flavored ketchup!"

*talking about her bubble gum*
Emma: "I'm gonna get a big piece like Daddy. Daddy likes big ones."

Olivia has just informed us that because Ricky spit out the window, he is getting old, so she gets new parents.

Olivia: "Dad, you are John Stewart Green Lantern. Mom, you are the girl Batman. Emma, you are Larryboy and I am Sonic."

*playing "Castle Crashers*
Olivia: "Emma, take care of me!"