Me and My Big Mouth

Sometimes I swear I'm a glutton for punishment.

We're having the twins birthday party this weekend...at our house. It was originally supposed to be a grilling pool party, but it has rained every day for two weeks and our local weatherman said there's a 50% chance of rain on Friday. So, because of this possibility, we most likely won't be able to go swimming. And, since our upstairs neighbor's balcony does nothing about keeping water out ** we won't be able to grill. So, now the party has been changed to a completly indoor party and instead of grilling, my Mom is going to grill everything the night before and we'll just reheat it. Talk about lame!!!

Ok, on to the point of the story, I (well, Ricky has helped too when I've asked him) have planned this party for months. The details surrounding the party have been set in stone for weeks. Granted, it took me a while to actually get around to making the invitations, but I knew what type of party, where, when and all that long beforehand. Anywho, so all of a sudden this past week everyone in my family has had a problem with this!

In the past week I have heard, "You only have one bathroom..." (I guess my father is planning on spending the entire party in the bathroom and was wondering where everyone else was going to go...) "Where are we going to park, there's not enough space..." (Yeah, there's only so many parking spaces directly in front of our apartment, there are plenty of other spaces if you don't mind walking an extra 25ft. Geez!) "If you won't let me bring mayonaise, I'm not coming..." (I have a very very strictly enforced rule that no one is allowed to bring pickles or any form of pickles (relish included) into the house. I hate pickles. I hate the way the smell. I hate the way they look. I hate everything about them. Ricky, on the other hand, feels the same way about mayonaise. When Ricky and I were discussing things to get for the party he said that if I said no pickles, he was going to say no mayonaise. So, when I informed my Mom of this, that was her reaction.) "Gas prices are so high for all of us to come in, why don't you come into Panama City instead..." (Yeah, they don't have to drive here and spend money on gas, but apparently it's different when it is Ricky and I spending our money on gas...) "Instead of having the party at your house, where it will be crowded, come into Panama City and we can have it at *insert whoever I was speaking to at the moment's house*..." (My family and Ricky's family do not get along. So everyone was constantly trying to get us to have the party at their house, so the other family wouldn't be invited, and then they could throw another party at their house. So, in essesnce, they were trying to get us to have multiple parties for each of the families, just like at Christmas...uh...NO!!)

After hearing constant arguments about what I had planned for MY CHILDREN'S birthday party, last night I told Ricky that I was just ready to cancel the whole thing. A few minutes before that, I was on the phone with my dad, who was still telling me all these negative things about the way I planned the party, and I finally said (in the most polite way possible), "I understand your points, and if you or anyone else still feel this strongly about it, I will not hold a grudge if you decide not to show up. If this is going to cause you so much trouble, don't even worry about it."

Ultimately, Ricky and I decided to keep the party on. We figured, if they show up, they show up. If not, then whatever.

So, then this morning I get a phone call from my brother-in-law (he's married to Ricky's sister). He has to be on-call for work and won't be able to come. That's fine. I had been warned that this might happen, so it was completely okay. No big deal. I told him I would get Ricky to video tape it and we would send him a copy. No biggie. Then I find out that my father-in-law might not be coming. He has a paper due in class (he's going back to college) and he's been so stressed out that he hasn't finished it yet. Now, on this one, I'm calling BULL! I don't care what school work he hasn't finished, he needs to be here for his granddaughters. He knew he had this paper due, and he knew the twins had a birthday coming up. He fucking knew!!! So, now because of his laziness his granddaughters have to suffer. Fuck that.

After I got off the phone with my brother-in-law, I talked to my mother-in-law. Basically, they were supposed to get a hotel room Thursday night so they could help set up the party (I don't need any help, but whatever...). Then they were going to come over on Friday for the party, then leave that afternoon. Well, since it is now going to be just my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and my granny-in-law, I offered to let them stay with us. Hence the title. I do not get along with Ricky's family. We're civil enough, but they drive me berzerk! There's too much back story to delve into why that is, but let's just say that I am sometimes physically incapable of being in the same room with them sometimes. They make me that fucking angry. They're nice "people", but their actions and their choices make me want to strangle them! (If that makes any sense.)

So, yeah. Now I've got my mother-in-law, who will constantly ask what I need help with, my sister-in-law, who the majority of the time is a waste of space, and my granny-in-law who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. All this, and Ricky has to work on Friday. From 3am-12:30pm (he's going to try to get off at 9am though). During the before-party and the beginning of the party, I get to play referree between his family and mine. That's going to be loads of fun right there.

I was just informed that my father-in-law will be coming. That's good, I'm glad. But I think I pissed my sister-in-law off when I told her I how I felt about the situation. Oh well.

I'm really hoping this party goes well. I've had a tension headache for like three days now. And I don't think it's going to be letting up any time soon. Ugh, I just looked at the clock, 2:02am. I should have been in bed hours ago. Damn it...

Britney Marie

**The other night Ricky and I were outside talking to our neighbors (the ones right next to us). And all of a sudden we hear this big splash behind us. Our new upstairs neighbors, who I affectionately call "Smokey McSmokerson"***) dumped his cooler, garbage water, or something down through the slats of his balcony...directly onto our porch. He made no effort to try to dump it over the side into the bushes. Now, normally, when we're outside talking to our neighbors, Ricky and I are standing on our porch and they are standing on theirs. This time, however, we were all on their porch, which turned out to be quite lucky! The guy didn't even look! Ugh, I hate them already, and they haven't even been living there for a month yet!

***The day "Smokey McSmokerson" moved in our entire apartment smelled like cigarette smoke. It was so bad in our kitchen that I couldn't go in there for more than five seconds without getting a horriffic headache. The maintenance man came by and sealed up some holes under our cabinet then went upstairs and did the same to their apartment. It smells a whole lot better, until we run the dryer, then we can smell it again. I've toldthe maintenance men, but they haven't come by to fix it again.