Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Funny Things My Kids Have Said *October Edition*

*Watching the Halloween Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 & Thing 2 come on*
Emma: "Look Mommy! It's Emma and Olivia!"

Emma stuck her hand in the toilet of a porta-potty. Her hand is forever uncleeeeeeen!

Emma informed us that she is "Green Lantern Strawberry". She is wearing a Green Lantern mask with a Strawberry Shortcake costume on.

Emma: "Daddy, Olivia got a sad face today."
Ricky: "Why's that?"
Emma: "Because she was scribble scrabbin'."

Olivia: "It's EVIL!!!"
Emma: "That's not evil. That's a Pop-Tart."

*Liv comes to me from watching "LarryBoy and the Fib From Outerspace"*
Liv: *shows me empty hands* Look, it's my friend The Fib."
Me: *pretends to take a bite from The Fib*
Liv: "NO!! He's my friend! He's not a cheese puff!!!"

Em & Liv: "Ahh, Bats! It's bats!"
Me: "Girlies, go run in there and tell Daddy, 'We can't stop here, this is Bat Country!'"
Em and Liv: "*indistinguishable*BAT COUNTRY!!!"

Emma: "I'm wearing Daddy's underpants."
Me: "What?"
*Emma pulls up Rapunzel dress, revealing Ricky's Pac-Man boxers*
Me: "Well, okay then."

Olivia: "Mommy, I can't find my Sweet Hearts."
Me: "Emma, share the Sweet Tarts with your sister."
Emma: "Okay." *to Olivia* "That'll be 50 dollars."

Olivia: "I wanna see The Super Friends at the superhero store."

*In the car this morning*
Me: "Emma, what did you learn in High-Hat?"
Em: "'A'. 'Ah'. 'A' is for monkey."
Liv: "No, 'A' is for apple and alligator."
Em: "In High-Hat I tell a story about a monkey.
Liv: "Emma, I love you. 'A' is for apple."

*in the car*
Emma: "Mommy, look at my mustache."
Me: *turns to see where she wiped snot across her upper lip*
Me: "Gross."
Me: *turns around a second time to see mustache gone and her mouth making a chewing motion*
Me: "EMMA! Don't eat your...ugh, nevermind."

*From inside a big cardboard box*Ricky: "Are we in a hobo house?"
Em and Liv: "Yes."
Ricky: "Are you hobos?"
Liv: "No, I'm Olivia."

Emma: "I'm cold."
Me: "Okay, let's get dressed for school then."
Emma: "No, I need a blanket."
Me: "No, you need to get dressed."
Emma: "No."
Me: "Do you want a yellow light this morning?"
Emma: "Yes."
Me: *glares*
Emma: "No."

*Abby the cat is sneezing in the living room*
Emma: "The cat is sick."
Me: "He's okay, he's just sneezing."
Emma: "He needs a doughnut."

Olivia: "Get me some more water."
Me: "What's the magic word?"
Olivia: "Pocus Pocus."

Olivia: "I'm Superman-Girl!"

Olivia: ""You wanna go see Spooky-Do?"

*As heard from the living room while Ricky checked on Emma in the bathroom*
Emma: "Daddy, come see!"
Ricky: "Ew, ew, put that away!"

*Emma comes out of her room with a princess wand*
Emma: *flings wand forward* "Magic! Magic!"
Me: "Don't you mean, 'Magic Missle'?"
Emma: "No. Magic! Magic!"

*Olivia comes out with a mouthful of cake*
Me: "Olivia, did you ask for that cake?"
Liv: "No."
Me: "No more cake."
*A little later*
Liv: "May I have some cake please?"
Me: *looks at her*
Liv: "It's my birthday."
Me: "No it's not."
Liv: "It's Pop-Pop's birthday."
Me: *looks at her*
Liv: "Sammi's birthday......you're birthday...Happy Birthday Mommy!"

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