Thursday, January 13, 2011

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

So, last night I gorged myself on some of the kiddos potty candy. M&M's to be exact. I was having a serious sweets craving and I figured those would be better than eating a whole bowl of ice cream, or worse, cinnamon rolls. *drools like Homer Simpson* Cinnamon rolls...*drools* *snaps back into reality*

With those tiny candies, came a caloric overage. I went over by 177 calories yesterday. I guess I should be mad at myself, but I'm actually not. I don't want this diet to be something that controls my life. If I wanna eat a pack of M&M's I'm going to allow myself to do that. What I'm not going to allow myself to do is eat more than one. I think that by giving in to my temptations sometimes it will let me feel like this is not a diet, but my choice. If that makes any sense at all.

Today I've been especially hungry. Not sure why. Maybe I'm just bored. I have all these crafting projects that I need to get done, but I've been lacking motivation to do them, plus I have all this housework that I've been procrastinating on. I need to sit down and make myself a list of things to do each day and only when I do a certain number of them can I sit down and check on my farm, and mafia, and cafe etc. (Damn you Facebook! And your games that suck me in! *pumps fist*)

I'm beginning to notice that one of the hardest things for me has been the drinking. I want so badly to drink a glass of tea or one (or six) of the two packs of root beer that Ricky brought me home the other day. But those are empty calories that I could be using to, y'know, eat. *sigh* I've actually done quite well in that department so far. I've reached for the tea pitcher and almost poured myself a glass, but grabbed the water at the last second. I need to get some more of those Propel Fitness waters. They taste like Kool-Aid but only have 10 calories per serving. And they break up the monotony of just drinking water constantly.

Tomorrow, Sammi and I will weigh-in at the gym after Zumba. I've almost done it here a couple times, but I'm a little scared to. Usually when I weigh myself I do it right before I hop in the shower in the morning. And I'm usually okay with the number that pops up. But when I get to the gym, I've got my clothes on and while I realize that just by adding clothes it will add a few pounds to the scale, it just always seems to be higher. Like one time I was 193 here at the house and I was 198 at the gym! My scale at home has never tipped over to 200, but the one at the gym did. I don't want to get my hopes up here and see a lower number just to be disappointed when I get there tomorrow. So, I'm going to try and hold out until tomorrow.

I really hope that the scale will be tipped in my favor tomorrow. Every time I've gone there the number just keeps creeping higher and higher no matter what I do. I've been trying really hard this time, and I just want that to be evident in the numbers.

Wish me luck tomorrow!