Ricky: "I feel like I let the kids just trample all over everything in the house today...y'know, 'cause they're a herd of buffalo."
Me: "Can two be considered a 'herd'?"
Ricky: "It can when it's those two."
So far, my Mother's Day has consisted of cleaning up cat poop from the living room floor, burning two bags of Olivia's popcorn, cleaning I don't know what but it was sticky from the girlies bathroom floor, and unclogging their toilet. I shudder to think what is going to happen the rest of the day, as it is only 9:15am.
Just once, I would like a day where my children don't fight, argue, whine, complain, or tattle.
*watching season 2 of "Justified"*
Ricky: "Season 3 Spoiler Alert: He shoots people."
*Talking about board game movies. Ricky says 'Connect-4' should be next. Listening to Ricky go into great detail about the plot*
Me: "You've talked to Mitch about this, haven't you?"
Ricky: "No, not yet..."
Can of Silly String in the refrigerator? #normalaroundhere
Ricky: "All I wanna do right now is lay down..with a Fatty." (Meaning Big Kitty)
Me: *looks at him*
Ricky: "Preferably you. Laying down."
Me: *glares at him*
Ricky: "I did not just call you fat."
Me: "This is so going on Facebook."
Ricky: "Don't do that! You're going to put it out of context!"
Me: "No, I'm not. I'm just going to write what you said."
It's May and it's 89 degrees outside., but it feels like 103. I hate Florida.
Ricky: "Let it be known, that on today, May 27th. Olivia beat her first Mario world. And found a secret room."
*Watching 'America's Got Talent' season 3*
Me; "What does David Hasslehoff know about talent?"
Ricky: "I know, right?"
Gotta have the before bedtime fighting match between Skeletor, Superman, & Batman. All I can hear is Skeletor screaming, "This one's got a weapon!" and then Batman comes running out with a baton.
*after asking for Ricky to reheat the nachos he brought home for me*
Ricky: "You're adorably helpless."
Me: "Helpless, really?"
Ricky: *realizes what he's said* "Bad choice of words."
Me: "What's the other word? Lazy?"
Me: "You could have said 'co-dependent'."
Ricky: "Yep, that would have been better."
Ricky: "When you write a book about us, please don't title it, 'My Life with Two Kids and a Dumb Ass.'"
*Watching season 3 of 'America's Got Talent'*
Me: "The Hoff loves a sob story."
Ricky: "That's 'cause The Hoff is a sob story."