*as heard from the other room*
Ricky: *in Skeletor voice* "You'll never escape Skeletor-Dad!"
*watching 'Deadliest Warrior'*
Me: "That guy looks pretty."
Me: "That guy looks like a girl. He's pretty."
Ricky: "I'm not calling a guy pretty."
*after weighing himself*
Ricky: "Ugh, 165lbs"
Me: "Here, this should make you feel better."
Me: "Okay, maybe not 167lbs."
Ricky: "That should make you feel good, I'm only two pounds lighter than you."
Me: "Yeah kinda."
Ricky: "Just means I'm gettin' fat."
Me: "Gee, thanks."
*Watching Next Iron Chef*
Me: "See, her butt is huge!"
Ricky: "I'm sorry, I forgot to look at her butt. I promise I will look at her butt the next time they show it."
*Mom and twins are playing with a cap gun*
Mom: "Okay, no laughing when I kill you."