Sunday, January 1, 2012

Funny Things My Kids Have Said *December Edition*

Olivia: "Mommy, make me a mustache." *hands me purple play-doh*

*Emma reciting out loud what she is pretending to write down*
Emma: "Dear Mommy. I love you. Love Daddy."

Olivia: "I want a cheese sandwich."
Me: "We don't have any cheese?"
Olivia: "That's okay, Mommy. I'll have a butter sandwich."

*Emma opens a drawer and hits me in the knee.*
Emma: "I'm sorry I hurt you, Mom. Let's go bowling."

My kids look like they got dressed in the dark. Emma is wearing a Penguins jersey, blue jeans that are too big and ugg boots, with fur rolled down on one side. Olivia is wearing a Batman shirt, grey sweat pants and Justice League sneakers.

Olivia: "I wanna go see Batman."
Emma: "He's at the cave."
Olivia: "I wanna go see LarryBoy."
Emma: "He's at the cave with Batman."

Me: "What do you girlies want to do today?"
Emma: "I want to go to the store to get some juice."
Me: "What are you going to use to pay for the juice?"
Emma: "Mommy."

Me: "We're going to have lunch with Aunt ******, Uncle *******, Baby *******, Grandma and Daddy today."
Emma: "Oh, that's wonderful!"

Emma: "We have to make marshmallows with snores!!! Dad! Make a fire!"

Olivia: "Somebody stinks."
Me: "It's probably one of the kitties."
Olivia: "It's probably Emma."

Olivia: "We have to go to Gabriel's Park to see Santa!"
Me: "Santa is back at the North Pole getting ready for Christmas next year."
Olivia: "We have to go to the North Pole!"
Me: "But it's too cold there."
Olivia: "We have to get our jackets on!"

Olivia: "You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Ho ho ho!"

Emma: "The Grinch is going to steal all our stuff for Christmas. He's gonna steal all our panties!"

Emma: "Mommy, can I have a cookie?"
Me: "Yes. *takes her to the kitchen to get one of the cookies they made yesterday*
Emma: "I can't eat those cookies!! Those are Santa's cookies!!"
Me: "I think Santa will be okay if you eat one of them."
Emma: "Nope, they're for Santa."
Me: "You sure you don't want one?"
Emma: "No, they're all for Santa."

Emma: "I want 20 teeth out so I can get my prize!"

Olivia emerged from our bedroom. I had been out here on the computer for an hour. I didn't see/hear her come out of her room. Neither did Ricky. Must be a magic door or something into our room. Best guess is that while we were brushing our teeth, she came out of our room and got under our bed. Then she fell asleep under there. Then when the phone rang it woke her up.

*looking over my shoulder while on Pinterest*
Emma: "It's Wonder Woman!"
Me: "Who's that? *pointing to Christopher Reeve*
Emma: "Superman!...Where's Batman on here??"

*points finger in my face*
Olivia: "I command you to stay here!"

Emma: "I wanna go to the toy store."
Ricky: "Yeah bro?"

Olivia: "It's still snowing! Yipee!"

Ricky: "Who wants to take naps?"
Olivia: "Me!"
Emma: "I don't like naps."

Ricky: "It's not funny. Pooping your pants is not funny."

Olivia: "I love The Smurbs!"

Emma: "Mommy, my best friend is Olivia. Who's your best friend?"
Me: "Aunt Deidre."
Emma: "No, you're best friend is Dad."

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