Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Funny Things My Kids Have Said *January Edition*

Ricky and Emma are in an argument about whether or not girls can be mean. It turned a bit one sided when a tickle fight broke out.

*Ricky and the twins playing "Castle Crashers*
Olivia: "Where's Olivia??"
*Ricky saves her*
Olivia: "Olivia's back!"

Emma: "Look at that, you messed it up, Daddy!"
Olivia: "You 'sploded my corn dog!"

Olivia: "I want to watch the cartoon Smurbs"

*After seeing a photo of Don Draper from 'Mad Men'*
Olivia: "It's Josh!"
Me: "That's Josh?"
Olivia: "Yeah!"
*looks up photo of Keanu Reeves*
Me: "Well, who's that then?"
Olivia: "It's Josh too!"

*from the bathroom*
Emma: "I'm done! I've pooped all of the poops!"

Days it took them to clean their room: 4
Days I expect it to take them to destroy it again: 1

Em and Liv are working on Day 4 of cleaning their room. The only difference this day is I can hear them singing the Theme from Cops in there.

Emma: "We're ready to go to Grammie's house. I have my mittens. I have my hat. 'Cause it's cold outside."
Me: "Well, if it's cold outside, aren't you missing something?"
Emma: "My jacket. Oh yeah. I'll go get it."

Emma: "All of our kitties are nice. Big Kitty is nice. Habby Cat is nice. Choo-Choo is nice..."
Me: "I thought you didn't like Choo-Choo."
Emma: "That's right. Choo-Choo is evil. She needs to get out of our house!"

*Looking at a photo from our wedding*
Olivia: "Mommy, are you a princess?"
Me: "Yep."
Emma: "One day I'm gonna be a princess. Emma and Olivia are gonna be princesses and Daddy's gonna be the king."

Em and Liv thought it would be a good idea to smuggle crayons into the hallway and draw all over the wall. And now I think it's a good idea for them to scrub it all off.

I think Olivia might be actively trying to murder her sister. I turned my back on them to walk into the kitchen and then I hear screaming from Emma. Apparently, Olivia kicked her directly in the eye. They weren't arguing or fighting over anything. So, I really don't know what happened.

Em and Liv are playing Marvel vs Capcom 3. Liv just beat Emma.

*Emma comes into the kitchen while I am making grilled cheeses for their dinner*
Emma: "Mommy, can you not cook mine?"
Me: "You don't want your grilled cheese cooked?"
Emma: "No."
Me: *Puts cheese on buttered bread and puts it on a plate and hands it to her*
Emma: "Thank you!"

*Comes up and measures me with Ricky's tape measure*
Emma: "You're not tall enough. You're short like me. Daddy's tall."

*Hands me the movie "The Parent Trap*
Emma: "Can we we watch this? It looks like me and Olivia!"

*Listening to the kiddos drawing with chalk on their easels*
Olivia: "I'm gonna draw you, Emma."
Emma: "Okay!"
Olivia: "Here's your mustache!"

*talking to Ricky at bedtime*
Emma: "I went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "No more dumbbells on my head" Bloods!"

*Talking to Grandma on the phone*
Emma: "Mama called the doctor and the doctor said. No more dumbbells hurtin' on my head!"

Ricky: "Olivia, say 'Transform and Roll out."
Olivia: "Transformers roll out!"

Olivia just said that Batmanuel was Daddy. And that Mommy is Captain Liberty.

Olivia: "It's time to transform!"

I received a phone call from Em and Liv's teacher. Seems the girlies got into an argument about who brought their lunch from home today. Emma asked for a sandwich, and when I asked Liv she said she wanted school lunch. Well, apparently once there, she changed her mind.

*Emma is trying to pull a Twin-Switch on me.*
Me: "Olivia, get your shirt on."
Emma: "I'm Olivia."
Me: "No, you're not."
Emma: "I look like Olivia. I'm Olivia."

Olivia keeps twirling. Then she looks at me like I'm the one who smashed her face into the dresser when she falls into it from being dizzy.

Olivia: "Emma, state your problem."
Emma: "I like my mom and dad, but Daddy has to go to work!"

*Emma finds a nerf dart from Ricky shooting at them from the living room*
Emma: "What's this?"
Olivia: "Daddy's trying to kill us!"

Ricky: "Time to stop playing video games. It's time for lunch."
Olivia: "But we're busy, Daddy!"

Olivia just ate 1/2 bag ramen noodles, 4 bagel bites, and is now asking for a can of Vienna sausages. I'm afraid she's going to eat the paint off the walls soon.

Olivia: "Mommy, make me a mustache." *hands me purple play-doh*

*Emma reciting out loud what she is pretending to write down*
Emma: "Dear Mommy. I love you. Love Daddy."

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